I'm wondering what I've done. What am I supposed to be doing. I'm trying to go over everything in my mind that I had read.He has my hand and leads me to the bed. We stop. I look at Larry. He looks at me as if he knows what is going through my mind. Very softly he puts his hands on my face, and tries to assure me everything is going to be fine."You're my baby girl. Nothing or no one will ever harm you, including me. You've read and we've talked. You know trust is what this is all about. Do you trust me, baby girl?"He's looking straight into my eyes. He wants me to trust him. Do I trust him. Can I trust him. Can I submit to him. I'm standing there looking at him. He sees in my eyes that I'm scared. I'm confused. I want to trust. But can I. Can I submit. Can I give him everything. Can I?We stand there for a few more minutes that seem like hours. He reaches and takes both my hands. He turns and walks to the bed. I willingly go with him. He turns and faces me. Larry put his hands on my. My chief of security found Rodney for me, because he had two very important qualifications: He knew what everybody in the royal world was doing, where they were vacationing, who they were sleeping with, and how their family fortunes were doing. Secondly, Rodney was so closed mouthed that my security people couldn’t pry information out of him, when they wanted to know what was coming up on my calendar. I had to provide all the information because Rodney considered privacy to be right up there with godliness.When it came to accepting invitations, I rarely did more than ask Rodney to reply with my apologies. Royal parties held almost as much fascination for me as competitive Cheerio rolling.My habit of loving women that took what they needed from me and then left was getting to me. I needed – craved – emotional stability and couldn’t find it. There were hundreds of eligible, single women of London society that would sell their hair for my hand in marriage, but what they wanted was my.
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